forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Randomize
