I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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