dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
