i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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