You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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