Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
