Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
