I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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