i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
