Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
