her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
