She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
