apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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