3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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