Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
