it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Screwed.edu
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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