Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
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