bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
