That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
