when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
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