and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
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