in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Randomize
