Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
