i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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