we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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