I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
