Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Randomize
