Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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