I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
