I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
