Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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