i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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