some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
You need Xanax blowdarts
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
