you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
