It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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