How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
