I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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