her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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