if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
