she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
