the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize