Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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