UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
