ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
