Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I'm determined to sit on that face.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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