Umm I'm too high to move.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
