it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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