I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Randomize
