well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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