Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize