i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
