ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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