i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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