My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
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