I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
