I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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