She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I just had sex on a roof
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
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