I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
